Got Soul

It's been so long since I've "blogged" last. I feel like so much has happened, so many layers have been peeled away, so many new insights, and yet at the same time, not much at all. I've got Spring on my mind. I'm pleading for it, aching for it. It's been a very long winter.

My job as a busboy has been an amazing tool in keeping me in check and in the present moment. As I have mentioned before, my body seems to reject any kind of labour intensive work. I noticed a lot of times I would complain to others to get them enrolled in my plight and make them feel sorry for me so that I could be the martyr. But our last assignment at Landmark was to give up on complaining and every day I go to work, it is an opportunity to make that choice in my life. When I feel myself get angry or start to tense up I try to take a moment to just breathe and I say to myself, "Yes, I hear you ego, I feel you, I know you are there. But you do not overpower me. You are not me." I had an extremely difficult afternoon on Good Friday. We were short staffed and I was feeling overwhelmed as were the servers. The ego was strong that day. I even broke a few glasses by accident which I hardly ever do. But instead of going too far down that rabbit hole I tried to recognize it for what it was: my ego having a tantrum. That's all. As I was cleaning and setting tables in the front of the restaurant I noticed a little baby staring at me from over her father's shoulder. We shared a few moments together and that really helped. Babies can be extremely direct when they are looking at you.

I think one of the reasons why I was moody was because I had gone out two nights in a row. Wednesday I went to Segafredo for Sneaks, Beats and Life and I had a wonderful time with Toddy, Rita, Carla and Bic. I really wanted to give Bic my Demo because I didn't see her at Cherry on Saturday for Jojo's set but I wasn't too concerned because I knew she would be at Sneak, Beats and Life on Wednesday. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to meet the Flores's at this time in my life. Both Bic's brothers are very successful DJs and she is a successful business person running GotSoul Recordings. The DJ industry can be so competitive and what I find so refreshing about them is their generousity of spirit. There's just no bullshit with them.

Bic invited me out to Therapy at Cherry the following night and I agreed to make an appearance. I had already made a promise to myself to attend Simian Mobile Disco at Coda for the Chromeo after party but it's important to make as many connections as I can. I think some people might find it a bit strange that I go out by myself. I guess it is in some ways but I've done it for so many years now I am used to it. Sure it would be nice to have a social circle or entourage, but it doesn't always work out that the friends that are closest to me can find the time to go clubbing or want to. Perhaps it's my independent spirit, but I've never let the lack of friends stop me from going out, especially if it's a DJ I want to see or a club I want to go to. Sometimes the best dates are with yourself.

Jojo Flores didn't go on till about one but I met some new people and spoke with Bic a little bit. Like Saturday, it was a Classic House set (Jojo's forte) and I have to say as much as I like a lot of the "new sound" coming out of electronic music today, Deep House, Classic House, just feeds my soul. People tend to hold on to this notion that a DJ needs to be on the cutting edge, to inform the masses of what's hot, what's cool and that is important, that has it's place. But it's also important to really speak to people through music, to tell a story. I find Jojo Flores to be really conscious of that and I appreciate his track selections. He played Reach for Me which was great and also gave me indication that it was time to head to Coda. As of late, it's been fun experimenting with when I think it's the appropriate time to leave and the minute I feel I get the right high I step out so I can keep that feeling with me.

At quarter to two, I thought there might be a line at Coda but there wasn't so that was good. Both Cherry and Coda in terms of ambiance, clientele and music couldn't be farther from each other. Where Cherry has the Soul, Coda's got the party. The crowd is young, energetic and wild. It was very crowded and very hot. Simian Mobile Disco were just tearin' up the one's and two's and though I don't always feel included in this community, I love and appreciate their spirit. SMD played a smashing set which I only heard a portion of; right after HustlerI walked out into the cold night, but not before I heard the door guy say, "Walk down the stairs to your right, people! There's puke over there."

So work was definitely a struggle the next day but I managed to pull through, especially since Mistaya was meeting me for a quick drink afterwards. It was really nice, because I hadn't really brought in any friends to M: Brgr (truth be told, I don't have that many in Montreal). One of the things I like about my friendship with Mistaya is that it's not rooted in the past. We were classmates and we have known each other since Ballet School, but the relationship we had cultivated doesn't exist in that place. When we talk to each other it's about things that are happening now and about dreams we are in the process of accomplishing. It's inspiring.

Since it was Easter weekend the Church around the corner from where I live was doing a concert of Bach's St, Jean and I thought it would be great to hear some beautiful choral music. I wouldn't say I am a religious person, though I did attend church as a child, in part because all our relatives attended the same church and it was a great way for the family to be together once a week. I do think of myself as someone who is spiritual. What I thought would be a nice evening listening to some beautiful classical music (it truly was) turned into a family outing which was a nice surprise. I have a sneaking suspicion that my parents were just elated that all their kids actually wanted to go to Church for once. Just to give you an indication of how not religious me and my sisters are, at one point, Frances and I did the crossword and towards the end I whispered over to Liz, "I have about half an hour left in me". The Tenor had a beautiful quality to his voice and sang with only brief punctuations on the organ. I realized later that he was actually singing the scripture directly from the bible, narrating the events of the crucifixion. "Wow," I said to Fran. "It's spoken word, Bach style."

Over the weekend I thought a bit about Jesus and religion and how it fits into my life. So many people believe that just because they enter a beautiful building once a week they are more enlightened than others. What good is understanding the teachings of Christ if it's not applied in every day life? I can sense sometimes there is a disappointment in my parents that their children no longer attend church. And I cannot speak for my siblings, but I know for myself that does not mean I am not trying to cultivate deeper meaning in myself and my life. Before we headed to church that night my family had dinner at Liz's apartment. Since Mistaya had driven me home and was taking a look at where I lived she was witness to a flood of Vicente's coming through the front door. When they saw it was my friend, my parents immediately welcomed her and sat her down for dinner which was shrimp and fish with rice. That simple act of inviting my friend to dinner was truly giving and loving and Christian. And recognizing those moments as sacred are far more important to my life than attending a church.

I've got Spring on my mind

Yes folks, we made it through February. And for some reason God is determined to make Montreal a Winter wonderland. It's as though Montreal is a snow globe he is in love with and keeps shaking every two days. It's been a long winter!

I've survived another physically demanding work week. Because the weather has been changing so frequently I tend to be in a state of constant sniffling but I am determined not to be obsessed with "always feeling under the weather". After doing Landmark, I really do get the idea that what you think, you are. So a little sniffle, though uncomfortable, does not need to be over-dramatized.

The weather has altered me somewhat. It's been hard for me to accept the fact that I am in hibernation mode. Most people here are used to this weather and continue to lead active social lives. Me, I'm grateful that I get out of bed in the morning and come home from work. I know this will change once the weather has, so I am definitely looking forward to spring.

Still, there were a few things I did this winter that were pretty cool. Igloo-fest was "malade". The founders of Picnik Electronik do it every winter and it's an outdoor electronic music event that takes place in the Old Port of Montreal for two consecutive weekends. I was really impressed by it because the overall vibe was so jovial; people were really getting down to the beats of great DJs such as Ghislain Poirer. In the midst of a snowfall, he actually started playing calypso beats. I was wearing four layers of clothing just to stay warm so I couldn't decide if I thought it was torture or a stroke of genius. The crowd was loving it. A lot of people were dressed in crazy, Value-Village ski attire. The whole place was like entering a European ski-chalet meets charlie and the chocolate factory. It was an awesome sight. There were actual igloos in the front entrance and food stands in case you got hungry. As you left, security would wave goodbye, dancing to the music and would say, "see you soon!"

On Thursday I went to see James Zabiela at Tribe Hyperclub. I was really excited that this opportunity came along because I decided to cancel my trip to Toronto last minute and he was one of the reasons I wanted to go. I am working to save money for new DJ equipment and though my friends are important to me, I am really focussed on making this dream of mine a reality and that is going to take some sacrifices on my end. So when I found out that James would be spinning in Montreal before Toronto I was really happy. I was able to make some connections too and get in for free on the guestlist which probably wouldn't have happened in Toronto (another reason I am digging Montreal.) James Zabiela is a fantastic DJ. He's a technical wizard when it comes to Pioneer equipment and he's always fun to watch because he genuinely looks like he enjoys what he's doing and really smiles and connects with the clubbers. His set was what I have come to expect from James and I am happy to say that I didn't stay too long. There would have been a time I would have forced myself to keep dancing till four in the morning but my new goal is to leave while everything is still cresting. Besides things were starting to get messy already at 1:30 am and that was a turn off for me. I was reminded of something my sister pointed out to me a few weeks ago. The legal drinking age in Montreal is 18. Meaning these kids were born in 1990. I know, just take a deep breath. So James gets an A, club ambience gets a D. But what can you do.

And just to conclude on the subject of my new job, I have to say that even though it is hard work that I don't always like, I work with some of the prettiest people in Montreal. I think the staff at M Brgr is beautiful, inside and out and call me shallow, but I am totally digging the fact that I get to go into a place five days a week and be surrounded by beautiful faces and personalities.

I believe that this is a garden, and we are all flowers - from the movie "Party Girl"